Getting divorced is usually a painful experience. It takes a lot of time and courage before you decide to find someone new to wake up next to. Sometimes the thought of putting yourself back on the ‘dating market’ is absolutely discouraging. But there comes a time when you find yourself normal enough to start our personal lives from scratch. Of course, a few doubts show and here’s how to alleviate them:
- follow simple advice on dating someone after a divorce listed below
- come to terms with the fact that your life goes on
- tell yourself one vital thing: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (if it doesn’t leave you crippled either, you’re one lucky devil!)
- don’t concentrate on moving away from pain; instead, set a (pleasurable) goal and move towards it
- see every day of your life as the generous serving of brand new opportunities, alternatives and chances to learn something new
Avoid thinking of your age and a whole bunch of opportunities you’ve already lost when you consider dating after divorce or breakup. Otherwise getting back to the dating world won’t work well for you. You’re older, yes, which also means you’re wiser, more experienced and have a lot more to give when someone right comes along. What you’ve learned in the previous marriage is what money can’t buy. And it’s something that will help you greatly when you enter the singles’ scene again.
Dating after divorce: how soon to start?
Plunging back into the dating scene is exciting, but only when you choose the right time for the comeback. If you’ve been through a disastrous relationship you may have this strong desire to make up for the years of lost time and start over with someone new as soon as possible. This approach is not among the best ones. First you need to mourn, heal and let go, spend some time on your own, till you genuinely feel that you want someone again in your life.
So, how soon to start dating after divorce:
- whenever you feel like doing so (you’ve met someone nice)
- whenever you know you’re ready (time has healed your wounds)
- whenever you feel slightly bored’n’lonely (big time sensuality alert!)
Try not to confuse your sensuality cravings with the desire for a meaningful relationship. If you are ready for something casual without having to make any commitments, be sure to let your partner know about it. If you still love your ex-husband (-boyfriend), you’re going to need some more time till you forget and realize that everything is over. If you think that your new boyfriend may upset your ex, brush these thoughts aside. Tell your ex you’re dating someone new and you’re happy with them.
Your first date after divorce: secrets and advice
Make sure that your first date after divorce doesn’t lead you to the rebound relationship, to the situation when you’ll still be looking for someone just like your ex. You should be 100% sure you’ve let everything go, that your past is far behind. Still we’re not saying you won’t feel nervous bwhen going on your first date after divorce. You sure will, maybe even more than when you were going on your first date as a teen.
Make sure you follow these tips for your post-divorce first date:
- choose nice clothes
- go to new places, try new things
- talk about the future, ask him what he wants from life
- avoid dwelling on your ex and the whole divorce thing
- relax and be yourself, program yourself for success
If you secretly wish to find someone nice but aren’t ready to meet up face-to-face yet, you can find a safer environment for meeting singles. Consider signing up to a divorced-dating website where you’ll meet lots of guys just like you within the comfort of your own apartment or house. It’s a nice way of meeting genuine divorced singles in your area, but you should also keep in mind that this cure has a side effect: internet can be a safe space for dating but it’s also the perfect playground for scammers.