Your biggest divorce fears

September 12, 2012 1

If you are divorced and have already gone through this uneasy stage in your life, you sure remember your biggest divorce fears and anxieties. People on Twitter have been asked about their greatest fears related to going through a divorce and separation with their partners.

Some of the respondents were serious about their fears, others revealed their insecurities in a humorous and defensive manner. It doesn’t matter how you speak about your fears. What matters is that if you acknowledge them, you’re on your way to successfully getting over them.

divorce fears

If you’re facing signs of a failing marriage at this stage of your life, you are most likely experiencing divorce fears as well. This process is natural. If you realize that nothing can be done to save your marriage, do everything you can to overcome your fears.

Divorce fears for women

After reading what people had to say about their divorce fears while completing the survey, we’ve come to realize that divorce fears for women and men differ. It is no secret that a lot of men don’t get too depressed when they realize that their marriage is on the verge of breaking up. Some even don’t want to try marriage and family counseling.

divorce fears for women

Women are different, their divorce fears are much more acute and overt. When considering a divorce, women are usually afraid:

  • of being alone, growing old alone
  • that they cannot do it on their own
  • of the overwhelming sense of failure
  • of losing children
  • of being abandoned, feeling hateful and lost
  • of starting life anew after investing so much in marriage
  • to split with partner after 30-40 years together
  • not being wanted again for a long-term relationship because of being ‘used goods’

If you’re a woman who’s about to divorce from your partner, you may fear the onslaught of uncontrolled emotions like anger and fear. You may be even concerned about your ex taking half your money (one of the less popular answers to the question of women’s divorce fears). Your divorce fears will fade away once you believe in yourself, realize your huge potential and strength.

Divorce fears for men

We’re going to go out on a limb and say that the majority of men move on much faster than women after getting divorced. While Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis were in Bali having lots of fun, Demi Moore was devastated and hurt by how easily her boytoy forgot about her. This is a common occurrence in many couples, both famous and not-so-famous.

divorce fears for men

With that in mind, let’s have a look at the divorce fears for men who took part in the survey. During and after divorce, men usually fear:

  • getting married again
  • being alone and not getting enough sex
  • major failure
  • losing lots of money
  • losing mutual friends

Dear ladies, if you don’t want to grow old alone, make sure your men get enough sex, good food, entertainment and sense of victory. That’s what we call mutually beneficial fear-battling! Jokes apart, getting divorced is no pleasure cruise. But the fear is always far worse than reality. If you still genuinely hope to save your relationship, fearlessly go for it. If your mind tells you it’s impossible, fearlessly get real and move on.

Divorce fear of being alone

Although in most cases men start considering dating again after divorce much earlier than women, it doesn’t mean that divorce fears for men are all about money and sex. We should say that divorce fear of being alone is common for both men and women. It’s just that women acknowledge and admit it more easily and readily than men.

divorce fear of being alone

If you are sure that divorce is the right decision for you couple, you have no other choice but to move on. Moving on suggests dealing with your separation fears. First face them. If you do, you’re halfway to moving on, battling your post divorce anger and starting your life over again. Work on your personality, strengthen your willpower, work out a lot, know yourself, be yourself and do whatever feels right for you.

One Comment »

  1. jennie March 27, 2013 at 7:41 am -

    Being alone is one of my divorce fears. I just cannot imagine living outside of what I have created with my husband. But on the other hand I know that I am not happy being with him.